Sunday, March 19, 2006

this week's best use of double entredre

From the London Times, describing the lewd actions of an 'A-list Hollywood celebrity' at St. Andrews in Scotland:
The masseuse was attending to the knotted muscles of his neck and head when further down the fairway, she alleges, he whipped off his modesty towel and played an extra stroke or two. His grip was good, both on himself and the masseuse’s wrist, but his address to the ball was rushed and he was well above par without even holing out.
Ouch...I'm surprised they didn't include speculation as to whether it was a 3 or a 5 wood.

UPDATE: this post has a number of page views. so I decided to investigate and see if I couldn't name that star. I dunno, I have a thing for blind items. While early speculation focused on sexaholic/golfaholic Michael Douglas-Zeta Jones, in reality the only Hollywood celebrities during the timeframe the alleged molestation occured were particpants in Dunhill Links Championship of 2004: Samuel L. Jackson, Dennis Quaid, and Kevin Costner. Now you could have made an argument for each based on marital history, but further details revealed that the new owners of St. Andrews, the Kohlers, were alleged to be friends with the Hollywood molester. Kevin Costner got Mr. Kohler a gig on his mediocre golf pic Open Range, marking this mystery solved.

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