Thursday, November 30, 2006

monumental petulance

Last week, the President was greeted the incoming class of lawmakers on the State Floor of the East Wing of the White House. One of them, who had be assiduously avoiding having his picture taken with the miserable failure, was Senator-elect Jim Webb of Virginia, former Secretary of the Navy and Vietnam veteran. Webb's son is a Marine lance corporal currently serving in Iraq. Bush went out of his way to go to Webb and ask him: "So how's your boy doing?" Webb replied, "I'd like to get them out of Iraq, Mr. President," "That's not what I asked you," Bush said. "How's your boy?"" Webb, struggling to control his urge to deck Bush, responded "That's between me and my boy, Mr. President,"

This as Bush's own children are busy ignoring their Secret Service details and threatening to cause riots in Argentina. I think I know a place that could use the services of those able-bodied young Americans. It is well known that Webb refused to talk about his soldier son during the election. This was an attempt by Bush to be the alpha-dog, the schoolyard bully, on par with his penchant for nicknaming people. No doubt, Webb will be known as "Hard Ass" to W now, providing another manufactured excuse for him not to work with the incoming Congress. His question is kind of sinister, like a little kid asking, as he hangs a puppy by its hind legs out of a second-floor window, "How's your dog?" (Just nod your head Jimbo, or he'll be walking point in Ramadi for the rest of his tour.)

This as Bush shrugs of the sober "centrist" advice of Bush family fixer James Baker and their non-binding middle-of-the-road suggestions for how to extricate ourselves from the biggest foreign policy blunder in our national history.

Meanwhile, Bush is building a monument to his failed administration: a presidential library which will cost a staggering half-a-billion dollars. Who is lining up to pony up for this staggering atrocity? Various oil-rich autocrats from the sheikdoms of the Middle East, including Oman, Morocco, Qatar and Dubai in the UAE. One wonders what exactly this library will feature, considering the number of classified documents multiplying. The jokes, inaugurated here by Arianna, are the only good thing to come out of this news:
Will visitors to the Iraq War Wing be handed rose-colored glasses before entering and having flowers thrown at their feet? Or will they don blinders as they stagger forward, sinking deeper into a man-made quagmire?

Will there be exhibits on waterboarding, illegal wiretapping, and the quaintness of the Geneva Conventions? A room devoted to the nobility and greatness of the Hanging Chad? A holographic image of Osama bin Laden (try and grab him and he slips right through your hands)? The Abu Ghraib Game Room (must be over 18 to enter)?

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